Quit Smoking, Wedy!
by CookieCutterWorld
Summary: Light attempts to make Wedy stop smoking as part of his plan to interrupt L's investigation.


**Quit Smoking, Wedy!**

_**By The Cookie Cutter World**_

* * *

For the 7th time that night, Wedy got another stick of cigarette from her purse and struggled to light it with her lighter that was already dying. It took 5 clicks before a burst of small blue flame emerged from it and it touched the end of the cigarette whose tip was already caught between her red lips.

L subtly observed her from his peripheral vision as he continued staring at the monitors before him.

As for Light, he could not help but feel bothered that such a beautiful young lady like Wedy would be a chain smoker. To him, that was a definite turn-off. Furthermore, he wondered if she was aware that that bad habit was eventually going to kill her… unless Kira gets to her first.

He then turned to L and observed him pick up another piece of Ferrero Rocher chocolate, removed its gold foil, and devoured it completely. While crumpling the foil, L turned to Wedy. Light hoped that he would tell her to stop smoking or go outside to finish off her 7th stick of cigarette. Unfortunately, L just inquired if she could take the trash can closer to him so it would be easier for him to dispose of the chocolate wrappers.

Light watched quietly as Wedy immediately got up and located the tin trash can from one corner of the room. She picked it up with her left hand just as her right hand pulled out the cigarette from her mouth. Light observed the way her red lips formed into a perfect "O" as she puffed out the smoke from it.

He then turned to Aiber who was enjoying a glass of whiskey while seated comfortably on a sofa with his feet propped up on the coffee table. "What is wrong with these people? Are they all orally fixated or something? It's like I have never seen them putting anything in their mouths. L likes to eat sweets, Wedy smokes, and Aiber drinks! Makes me wonder if they all grew up under Watari's care." Light thought to himself. It was getting harder for him to ignore the habits of the three people who were with him in the same surveillance room because he was beginning to determine which habit was the worst. Eventually, all their habits could lead to health problems later on: diabetes for L, lung cancer or emphysema for Wedy, and liver cancer or liver disease for Aiber.

What he could not stand was the smoke coming from Wedy's direction. He could tell that once he left the room, he would definitely smell like cigarette smoke again. So without further ado, he finally decided to speak up, "Wedy, if you don't mind, can you stop smoking?"

The three of them simultaneously turned to Light Yagami. He felt intimidated by their behavior but he managed to keep a straight face at Wedy.

"Mind your own business, Light." L told him coldly.

Light cringed. "No! I mean… second-hand smoke kills and as for Wedy, aren't you worried about your health?"

Wedy took another puff and nonchalantly, she answered, "No."

Light frowned. He looked at L and Aiber and they were looking at him in a manner that made him feel like an alien. "Don't you care?" he asked the two men.

"I don't really mind." L answered before picking up another piece of chocolate from the box.

Aiber just shrugged and turned away so he can take a gulp from his glass of whiskey. "Come to think of it, Wedy, you've been smoking too much lately." He said. Light was secretly thankful that somehow, Aiber was able to think "rationally" about the situation.

"I'm stressed out. I'm tired. I haven't slept decently in days. My life currently feels threatened so… _carpe diem_ and _que sera sera_." She said with a morose tone in her voice.

"Oh is that why you're always wearing sunglasses? To cover your eyebags?" Aiber teased.

"Very funny." She mumbled sarcastically before taking another puff.

"Better lend your sunglasses to L, then. I'll bet he'll look cool with those." He said.

"No thank you. I don't need those things." L answered mindlessly while typing on the keyboard.

Light shook his head and he did not think twice about approaching Wedy and grabbing the cigarette from her grasp. "Wedy, that is enough." He said firmly before grabbing the ashtray to put the cigarette away with it.

"I haven't even reached halfway yet!" she wailed defensively.

Aiber's ears seemed to have perked up when he heard her react that way. "Aha! I knew it! You're showing signs of addiction to cigarette smoking." He pointed out.

"I'm not an addict." She said as she crossed her arms.

"Yes, you are. And you need to stop or you'll die of lung disease even before Kira learns about your real name and face." Light pointed out.

The three of them all turned simultaneously to Light Yagami again when he said that. He just tried to keep a cool demeanor and looked at L in a persuasive manner. "L, she listens to you. Please tell her to stop. She's a… she's a beautiful lady and she doesn't deserve to die because of an illness caused by her chain smoking." He said, hoping that his statement would divert their attention away from the Kira matter.

L turned to Wedy and squinted. "It seems like Light here has a crush on you so he doesn't want you to die." He pointed out with a low and raspy voice.

She ignored him and got her purse again. Light knew she was going to get another stick of cigarette so before she could pull out another one, he immediately went to her and grabbed her purse. "Oh no, you won't." he said warningly before inspecting the contents of her purse. He pulled out 3 packs of lady slims and two of them were still sealed. There were 2 other empty packs inside and he eyed them in shock. "How many packs are you capable of smoking in a day?" he asked.

"…2." She said.

"You're not really a good liar, Wedy." Aiber said with a singsong voice while gently shaking his glass to make some sounds with the ice clicking against the glass.

She rolled her eyes and took off her sunglasses. "…at one occasion, I managed to smoke 9. But that was because I was on a mission and I needed to stay awake and there was no food." She said.

L looked at Light and he got up to grab the purse from his grasp. "You can't just grab a lady's purse from her grasp, Light. It's rude." He pointed out before returning it to Wedy. "But he's right. You need to stop smoking. It would cost me a lot if I let you die because of lung disease. Without you, I would have a hard time making surveillance on the necessary people." He said with a serious look on his face.

She looked at him strangely. "That's it? That's your reason why you don't want me to die? How shallow." She said as she rolled her eyes. "But okay, I'll try to stop." She mumbled.

"You'll need patches or something." Aiber pointed out. "Want me to accompany you to the nearest drug store to buy some?" he asked.

"No, I can go on my own." She said as she headed to the door.

L turned to Light. "Please accompany her to make sure that she buys the right patch and gum that can help her quit." He instructed.

"Why me?"

"Well you're the one who has a crush on her so I think you should be a gentleman and go with her. Take this as an opportunity to spend time with your loved one. Just make sure that Ms. Amane cannot catch you with another woman or she'll throw a fit." L answered. To Light, he sounded very sarcastic. "I don't have a crush on Wedy. I just complimented her, that's all." He pointed out firmly before following after Wedy. "Maybe you're the one who likes her, L." he mumbled as he passed by Aiber.

Aiber just took a deep breath and smiled dreamily before taking another gulp of whiskey. "…Lopsided l'amour." He remarked.

* * *

In 30 minutes, Light and Wedy were back in the surveillance room and he had to help her apply the patch onto her skin.

For the next 2 days, Light took it upon himself to monitor her behavior and see if the patches were working. However, by the 7th day, she got more restless, she became irritable, she became jumpy, and to calm herself down, she would resort to eating the sweets that L were supposed to belong exclusively to L. This resulted in some petty fights between the Detective and the Professional Burglar especially when it comes to the last piece of chocolate in the box. Wedy would manage to successfully steal it from him and he could not do anything about it anymore. She had to compensate for the oral gratification she would usually get from smoking and the only way she could successfully do that was to eat or put something else in her mouth—and often times, they are candy, chocolates, lollipops and all the other foods that would normally be served to L by Watari. If she could not have anything to eat, she would resort to the same mannerisms as L: putting her thumb by her mouth or putting her fingers inside her mouth.

For Aiber and Light, the events that unfolded were entertaining spectacles for the next many days that Wedy struggled to fight off the withdrawal symptoms.

As for L, he did not mind sharing his sweets with Wedy but he felt sorry for her because she could not concentrate very well on doing surveillance anymore. She was too preoccupied on satisfying her need to have something in her mouth all the time. She never tried sneaking to smoke a single stick of cigarette even in her hotel room because L had Watari install surveillance cameras all over it. To make things worse, he even installed smoke detectors in every bathroom in the HQ, including her hotel room. L never let her out of the HQ alone, too. It's either Aiber or Light tagging along with her wherever she went.

By week 8, she was a total nervous wreck who just sat on the sofa and slumped like a worthless lump on it.

"You know, hypnosis can work. I've studied that as part of a psychology course. Would you like me to try?" Aiber asked with a wide smile beaming on his face.

She lazily gazed up at him and shook her head slowly.

"You need some air, though. And you need to eat, too."

She lazily shook her head. As she did so, she felt as if her neck would snap out and her read would roll off on the floor going to L's chair. Her imagination became wilder every single day and for that particular day, that was the scenario she imagined.

L could see Wedy from his peripheral vision and he himself stood up to go to her with a slice of chocolate cake on a small plate. "Here. This is the last one." He said as he presented it right in front of her face.

She felt her senses perk up a little when she took a whiff of the scent but she decided not to take it because she suddenly felt nauseous. She spoke incoherently as she slowly pushed his hand and the cake away from her face and covered her mouth.

L's eyes widened and the way they bulged was enough for anyone to think his eyeballs would pop out from their sockets anytime soon. "Oh no, are you pregnant? Why are you nauseous?" L inquired.

She just glared at him in a gloomy manner.

"You know, I don't think this is the right time to piss her off…" Light began when he saw how she had reacted.

L immediately turned his gaze to Light and accusingly pointed an index finger at him. "Based from how you reacted, you are the father."

"What?" Light exclaimed.

"You're the one spending too much time with Wedy anyway. It's possible that something happened between the two of you while I wasn't looking." L explained.

"Oh come on! Stop that! Can't you see I'm displaying withdrawal symptoms already?" Wedy suddenly wailed. She sounded whiny, which was very unlikely of her. Furthermore, she was already in the verge of tears when she finally gathered enough energy to react like that. She just helplessly covered her face and sobbed.

Aiber shook his head, "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

Light approached and sat down beside her. He reached out to her and took her in his arms so he could gently pat her back in a reassuring manner. "There, there. It's just a phase. It will pass. Maybe we just need to change your patch or…"

"I just changed it 30 minutes ago! It's not working anymore!!" she sobbed helplessly.

"Maybe we should just let her smoke again." L mumbled thoughtfully.

"No. We've come this far to give up now." Light answered sternly.

"She's having mood swings, she's not acting like herself, she keeps eating my food, she's losing her touch in sneaking, she can't pick locks anymore, she can't remember how to install bugs and spy equipment, she almost fell off a building while staking out a Yotsuba executive, and now she's crying. I say we stop this." L argued.

Aiber approached them. "Hey, hey, okay. First of all, is she really willing to stop smoking? Wedy, answer that question: are you really willing to stop smoking or you feel like we're just forcing you to? Because if you are not willing to stop, you really won't be able to help yourself."

She slowly slid her hands down her face but it was just enough to reveal her eyes. She gave Aiber a miserable look and answered, "I'm not sure. I can't even think straight anymore." But her words were muffled by her palms that covered her nose and mouth.

Aiber just stared at her hopelessly before looking at Light. "I don't think she's ready. She has to psychologically and physically prepare herself before quitting. If she feels like we're forcing her, she would not be determined enough because part of her still wants to smoke. Right, L?" and he turned to L with an inquiring gaze.

L just stared at Wedy as he snacked on the chocolate cake that she refused to eat earlier. "If you don't want this, I'll just eat it all by myself. That way, I can save you from the calories, too." he told her.

Aiber sighed. "You're not even listening." He muttered.

"I am listening. I'm just waiting for her answer to your question earlier. So Wedy, are you willing to quit or not?" L asked.

She removed her hands from her face and wiped them on her skirt. "…If you want me to, I will." She said.

"Okay. Then quit." L answered nonchalantly before devouring a big piece.

"No, it doesn't work that way. You have to be willing to quit. Otherwise, you'll lack the enthusiasm and determination to succeed in your goal." Aiber said. Light was amused with the way Aiber had been talking to Wedy and L. He did sound like a professional in psychology.

Wedy just shrugged. "So L, do I?" she asked incoherently.

"Please do." He answered while chewing.

"Really?"

"Do you want to?"

She narrowed her eyes on him. "Do you want me to?"

"I do if you want to."

"Well do you?"

"I don't know.

"Do I?"

"Do you?"

"I think so."

"You think?" and L swallowed.

"I think I can."

"Then do it."

"Alright."

Aiber and Light were quiet. As for the latter, it was obvious to him that Wedy would do anything for L to the point that maybe if he told her to jump off the building, she would gladly do it without questioning his motives. Or maybe not. That was too drastic to think of, thought Light as he looked confusedly on the floor. "Then it would be difficult to manipulate her." He thought frustratingly.

But Light suggested making Wedy stop smoking in the first place because he wanted to see if it could work for his plan. He already anticipated the withdrawal symptoms and he wanted her to lose her demeanor and become incoherent so she could not perform her job well for L anymore. Then, his next suggestion was to make Aiber stop drinking. Again, there would be withdrawal symptoms that could definitely distract him from performing well in his job for L. L's investigation would basically end up becoming handicapped without Wedy and Aiber. So without further ado, he began, "Okay, here's the deal so it would be fair for you, Wedy. Aiber should stop drinking, too."

He expected her face to light up in glee when he said that but she did not even react. His guess was: she was felt too sick and tired to do so. However, it was Aiber who reacted rather defensively. "What? What do you mean I should stop drinking?" he demanded.

"You have a drinking problem, Aiber. If you don't stop, you'll develop liver problems." Light pointed out.

"I don't have a drinking problem." Aiber denied.

"You're in denial." Light said confidently.

L grunted and shoved his hands inside his pockets. "I don't think that's good. If Aiber starts experiencing withdrawal symptoms, too, he wouldn't be able to function well just like Wedy." He said.

"No fair! I'm the only one who's going to go through this horrible ordeal? You men are so evil! Especially you!" Wedy pushed Light away and pointed an accusing finger at him. Light tried to keep his composure. When she mentioned how evil he was, he thought for a moment that she knew who he really was. But he just decided that she was thinking incoherently and was experiencing extreme mood swings—possible reasons why she would be capable of saying things like those.

L watched Light's reaction. He wondered why Light did not seem to have been affected by Wedy's accusation. Something became clear to him but he could not point his finger at it.

Wedy began to cry again and she looked helplessly at L. "How could you all do this to me? I'm a lady! You're ganging up on me? How would you feel if I took your sweets away and fed you vegetables?" she demanded.

L felt his heart jump when he heard that and his eyes widened, too. "Alright, that is enough." Was all he said before pulling out a pack of Wedy's cigarettes from his pocket along with a new lighter. Her face lit up when she saw L walking towards her.

Light just watched in shock as L carefully placed a stick of cigarette into her mouth and lit the end with a lighter. "You can relax now. I wouldn't want anybody taking away my sweets." He told her reassuringly.

"Oh, L, you're such a lifesaver!!" Wedy dove into his arms while crying tears of joy and she embraced him tightly. L almost lost his balance but he managed to sit down on the sofa next to her instead to break his fall.

Light eyed the two frustratingly. "Not as planned." He thought as he tried to keep a nonchalant look. However, he did not notice his left eye twitching and his right hand forming a tight fist. Aiber, on the other hand, had been secretly observing him while acting very interested in Wedy and L's behavior.

"Well I guess everything's back to normal." Aiber said as he shrugged and gave Light a pat on the head.

Light just sat still and forced a smile at Aiber. "Oh well, maybe you guys are not ready to quit anyway." He answered.

* * *

_**The End**_

_Author's Note__:__I wrote this out of nowhere and I think it ended abruptly._


End file.
